My daughter Crystal once retorted “Why must you bring us up in the way your own mother brought you up ?? Why is it always grandma did this or grandma said that ?? ” My reply was that I don’t see any thing wrong with that at all. “I did not turn out too badly, did I ??”
I was never spoiled as a child and I make it a point not to spoil my own children.. I try to help them understand the value of money and as early as I can, I made my son Danon memorize the word " M E R C E N E R Y " by the time he learned how to read and write in school when even the word “a e r o p l a n e” was a long and complex word to him . As he got older, I continued to expand the meaning of word and how he must never become mercenary.
My daughter Crystal once retorted ” Why must you bring us up in the way your own mother brought you up ?? Why is it always grandma did this or grandma said that ?? ” My reply was that I don’t see any thing wrong with that at all. ” I did not turn out too badly, did I ?? ”
I was never spoiled as a child and I make it a point not to spoil my own children.. I try to help them understand the value of money and as early as I can, I made my son Danon memorize the word ” M E R C E N E R Y ” by the time he learned how to read and write in school when even the word “a e r o p l a n e” was a long and complex word to him . As he got older, I continued to expand the meaning of word and how he must never become mercenary.
It was initially extremely difficult for him to understand this so I made him repeat and spell out loud “ I must not be mercenary ” after me every other day. He still teases me about this till today and tells his friends how “ funny ” his mother is.
I have always made it a point never to sign any restaurant or shopping bill in front of my children. As curious children, they would ask me about the bill. I would just tell them “Go away. It is rude to look at bills”.
So when a restaurant bill is presented nowadays, they never ask me how much is the meal.
I know it is not easy to fully understand the meaning of “ Mercenary ” and how difficult it sometimes is not to be mercenary. Danon once wanted to drag me to Toys r Us to get a popular action figure from a TV cartoon when he was five. I told him “ Mummy has no money”. He quickly replied…” but you go to that machine and put in your card and the money will come out ”. At that very moment , I knew it would not be easy to inculcate the value of money or “ no money ” without changing my lifestyle, an impractical alternative. And so I made a conscious effort to drive the point home by imposing all kind of restrictions, many which I am still not sure and undecided if I had done the right thing.
I sent them to a local “ heartland ” school so they would mix with children who are less privileged than they are in order for them to understand and appreciate that life is not always so “ comfortable ” for everybody. The last thing I wanted was to send them to elite schools where students often compare notes on their expensive holidays, their latest TV toys or the type of cars their parents drive. Even the most well adjusted child will find it difficult not to feel envious and may likely develop a complex if there is so much of it around him. His or her holiday to Malaysia would pale in comparison to glamorous trips to New York, London or Paris.
I gave them sufficient but definitely not excessive allowances to go to school and made sure that they could “ balance their accounts ” and spent within their means. Danon struggled in the beginning, and everybody noticed how he was always rather thin towards the end of the month when he ran out of “funds”. He could no longer have his Macdonald Happy Meals whenever he wished and had to eat home more often which was fine by me since I got to see a lot more of him. Both my children learned early how to prioritize, trade off spending with saving and budgeting.
I have never regretted making these choices for my children. I was adamant on managing Danon’s money as a young adult though most of his peers would have insisted on financial independence.It was initially extremely difficult for him to understand this so I made him repeat and spell out loud “ I must not be mercenary ” after me every other day. He still teases me about this till today and tells his friends how “ funny ” his mother is.
I have always made it a point never to sign any restaurant or shopping bill in front of my children. As curious children, they would ask me about the bill. I would just tell them “Go away. It is rude to look at bills”.
So when a restaurant bill is presented nowadays, they never ask me how much is the meal.
I know it is not easy to fully understand the meaning of “ Mercenary ” and how difficult it sometimes is not to be mercenary. Danon once wanted to drag me to Toys r Us to get a popular action figure from a TV cartoon when he was five. I told him “ Mummy has no money”. He quickly replied…” but you go to that machine and put in your card and the money will come out ”. At that very moment , I knew it would not be easy to inculcate the value of money or “ no money ” without changing my lifestyle, an impractical alternative. And so I made a conscious effort to drive the point home by imposing all kind of restrictions, many which I am still not sure and undecided if I had done the right thing.
I sent them to a local “ heartland ” school so they would mix with children who are less privileged than they are in order for them to understand and appreciate that life is not always so “ comfortable ” for everybody. The last thing I wanted was to send them to elite schools where students often compare notes on their expensive holidays, their latest TV toys or the type of cars their parents drive. Even the most well adjusted child will find it difficult not to feel envious and may likely develop a complex if there is so much of it around him. His or her holiday to Malaysia would pale in comparison to glamorous trips to New York, London or Paris.
I gave them sufficient but definitely not excessive allowances to go to school and made sure that they could “ balance their accounts ” and spent within their means. Danon struggled in the beginning, and everybody noticed how he was always rather thin towards the end of the month when he ran out of “funds”. He could no longer have his Macdonald Happy Meals whenever he wished and had to eat home more often which was fine by me since I got to see a lot more of him. Both my children learned early how to prioritize, trade off spending with saving and budgeting.
I have never regretted making these choices for my children. I was adamant on managing Danon’s money as a young adult though most of his peers would have insisted on financial independence.