To Yourself

Yes. I love myself . I truly believe that I cannot love others wholly if I do not love me! I have no regrets in my life. Absolutely none! I believe there is a meaning for what happened in our lives and what have happened have happened. In fact, I don’t even spend time wondering how things may have been. There are no “ifs” and “buts” when I reflect my past I accept who I am and am never harsh with myself. As in a Chinese saying, “He who depends on himself will attain the greatest happiness.”

I have no regrets in my life. Absolutely none. There are no “ifs” or “buts” when I reflect my past.

Naturally I will make mistakes. But I forgive myself very quickly and choose to learn by what has happened. This way I fulfill my desire to self- educate and remain open minded – ready to absorb life and all it offers. In my younger days I worked in advertising agencies. There would be times when I had put all my heart into a pitch. If I didn’t win the account I would be gentle and kind with myself. Of course I would research or aim to understand why the pitch may have failed but I would move on and strive for my next goal without beating myself up over the initial disappointment.

Go on, Kid Yourself! It is healthy.

And then I will psyched myself into believing that it is a blessing in disguise that I did not win the account. Maybe the client may turn out to be a bad paymaster, or we will not be paid in full. And I could actually feel thankful and happy and move on.

I was extremely upset when my hairdresser over perm and color my hair far from the color I have in mind. Strutting back to the gallery seething with anger, I decided to look at it from another angle. What if , like many of my friends, I were struck with some kind of cancer?? I would have no hair after Over-perm or in the wrong color tint.

If I cut my fingers very often while working in the gallery, I always calmly tell my staff.. Give me an elastroplast. Wow, I feel lucky today. Could have been a car accident or something worse. ” A load of ….. but I feel good and blessed. As long as it works for me, why not??
Many owes me money and do not never return the loan. I am too embarrassed to even disclose the accumulated sum to my family. I have also lost many friends who dared not contact me as they have not returned money to me. I am not gullible now and will not buy sob stories. In the occasional genuine cases, a fixed installment plan will be made for loan to be paid to charity bodies.

I am in no way suggesting you allow yourself to be forgiven lightly. Education involves critique and as a self-critic you need to be objective. This is part of allowing yourself to be spoken to. Self analysis and debate are healthy; you need to be honest and enquiring. You can do all of this alone and if you can’t achieve it in your head, then use a pen and paper to help yourself sort things out. The aim is to not get angry with yourself. Being cross and judgmental about yourself can ultimately lead to the way other people perceive you. Nobody enjoys being around others who are negative or miserable about themselves. Whilst guidance from others can assist, you will eventually need to help yourself.
I personally hate surprises. And do not count my chickens before they hatch. I attempt to determine all likely possibilities before they occur so that I am not surprised by any outcome. It may not always be the preferable result but at least this way I am partially prepared. I also do not believe in celebration of successful business deal and will not revel till the deal is done and completed.

I guess I like to feel I am ready for anything. This is probably why death is one of my favourite subjects. I have prepared so much for this and no doubt I may still be surprised but I think I am more ready than most!

I don’t believe the clichés in movies and books about how we should live on hope and that we hang onto to our lives with “Dreams”. I don’t believe in “dreams” not do I ever “hope”. I prefer to “go beyond the dreams”.

Out of the “soft-focus”, “dry-ice effect” scenes in movies and put efforts into real life action working towards our future which we can actually map put. I do believe in setting realistic goals. There are things I aspire to but I don’t have a list of things I wish I had time or money for.
By choice I am happily doing exactly what it is I wish to be doing. My work is my vacation, my play and my hobby. I live breathe and literally dream it. It is who I am, and I love every single minute of it!!!

From the beginning of its inception I could see wanted to achieve and I did it.

People have readily concluded that I am happily and perfectly contented. I suspect I am. I guess my approach is summed up by this Chinese proverb:

“Do not anxiously hope for that which is not yet come; do not vainly regret for what is already past.”

We are own best teachers. And no one knows us as well as we know ourselves. And certainly we are never as honest with others as we will be with ourselves. We will learn most through self honesty, open-mindedness and most importantly – our constant pursue for personal growth.

Read more articles